A- isn’t home tonight and I’ve been sitting here working on piecing together a first draft of the novel I’m working on right now. It’s too quiet around here, the rain is pouring outside and I can’t help but have a particular song on repeat on my iPod.
Maybe I’m feeling a bit melancholy, but I’m listening to one of A’s favorite bands. Well, one song. I think it’s become my new favorite song. Because it has helped to save her life. I have to admit, I’ve always had pretty eclectic taste in music, but as she has gotten older I’ve definitely been introduced to more “metal” and “emo” music because of her. Some of the bands I already knew, but she has introduced me to a lot of new ones, or to new songs by bands I was familiar with.
I hadn’t heard “Saviour” by Black Veil Brides until fairly recently when A- shared it with me as one of the songs that she listened to when things were really bad.
I sit here tonight listening to this song over and over again. A- says the bands she listens to have saved her life, and she owes them everything. She says music is the only thing that can bring her back from the edge when things are bad. When she is having a particularly bad depressive episode, she can put on her headphones and be reminded that she can get through it.
“Saviour” in particular, is a song that helps her get through. It has given her strength to not harm herself on more than one occasion.
I’ve never doubted the power of music. “Emo” or “metal” music is not everyone’s cup of tea. Some people even assume that if the band is screaming they are saying something horrible. Not true. But that’s a topic for another day.
Tonight I am grateful for music that has been there when my child needed it. I’m grateful for songs so powerful that they can convince her to keep trying, to keep going on, that she has something to live for. That’s art in its highest form, if you ask me.
So tonight as I write, I have “Saviour” playing on repeat, and as I listen I’m reminded of how powerful words can be. They have the power to save a life. Even the life of someone you don’t know and will more than likely never meet. And I’m grateful for the people that work hard to put their art out there where it can make a difference. I believe all art forms have great power. Art doesn’t just have to entertain. It can heal.
To someone else, it might be just a song. To me, it’s the thread that has brought my daughter back to me when the dark voice of depression tells her it’s too hard to keep trying.
A- has only recently opened up to others about the severity of her depression and suicidal thoughts. It was a part of herself that she was ashamed of – something she thought she had to keep hidden. At least she thought that way until the music helped her see things differently. She realizes now, that even though she is far from being “well,” that the bands and their music have been an inspiration to her, and she wants to be that inspiration to others. She wants to be the voice that can pull someone else through. She’s been there, she knows what it feels like.
She’s starting to fight. And I have music to thank for that. I think “Saviour” will always be my favorite song.