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Letting Go of the Past and Embracing the Future

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New Year’s is definitely a time where many of us find ourselves looking over the past and making plans for the future.

In our ADHD household, sometimes plans don’t last very long. It’s such a contradiction that we crave order and yet can get so scattered that chaos ensues instead. One of the things I work on. Continually.

It’s been a rough year, I’m not even going to lie about it. It’s had its good moments, of course, but all in all, this has been a DIFFICULT year. A- has fought so hard this year against the depression and self harm, yet sometimes it has seemed like a losing battle.

Don’t get me wrong, she is going to win the war – I just know it, but there has been some pretty rough battles this year. Still, she fights on and I am so, so proud of her. She’s changed a lot this year, and those changes are bringing her closer and closer to the person she wants to be.

Last year I started a Gratefulness jar.

Each week we were supposed to put something in the jar that we were either grateful for, or something good that happened to us that week.

A- indulged me, for the most part, but we missed putting things in a lot of weeks. Some weeks she claimed she just saw no good in, and other times our ADHD and forgetfulness just made us plain forget.

The idea was that on New Year’s Eve 2016, we would take out all those moments and spend a few minutes remembering the good. Tonight before midnight we will dive into our jar and be reminded of some of the good that was to be found in this year.

We decided earlier today to just go all out on the “hokey” stuff and after we empty our jar we are going to put our “wishes” for 2017 in it.

Things we want to do more of, things we want to change, or goals we wish to reach. We wrote down things like being mindfully grateful, being more forgiving and less judgemental. They will go in the jar and then we will continue with our weekly addition of something to be grateful for from the week, and those will be pulled out at the end of 2017.

We can also see our wishes and hopefully we will see that we really did work to change in this new year.

Tonight we will also set fire to scraps of paper that hold the things we want to get rid of from 2016. Anger. Anxiety. Hurt. Anything we no longer want to carry with us.

Personally I’m looking forward to letting go of the negativity of some of the things we’ve been holding onto. We can burden ourselves with so much – guilt, shame, anger – we need to release those things to become our best selves.

That is my wish for 2017. To become my best self.

I want to shed bad health, bad memories, and bad habits. Yeah, I know it’s a tall order. I don’t expect to do it in one day, but I do want to be conscious of the desire to do better. The desire to BE better. I think it’s important.

I don’t know what A- wrote that she wants to get rid of. I’m hoping self harm is on one of those papers. She tries to quit, but I think she mostly tries for me. She won’t be completely successful until she is ready to stop for herself. She wants to stop – I just don’t think she is there yet. I know I will continue to do whatever I can to support and encourage her.

She has no idea how proud I am of her, even though I do tell her. One day she will believe it.

I know the coming year is going to be a good one.

I know that it is within my power to make it so. I can’t change what happens around me and I can’t control or change what other people do – but I control my reactions and I control my outlook.

So I look to be more positive in the coming year. I look to be more kind, more forgiving and more compassionate.

It’s going to be a good year. Goodbye 2016 take all the bad stuff with you!!

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4 Comments

  1. sandlu7 says:

    Happy new year to you ! My wish is that all your wishes come true ! Your goals and dreams are admirable, and I pray that all yours and A’s will become reality !

    Like

  2. April says:

    I believe in you!

    Liked by 1 person

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